American comedian Hope Woodard launched the concept of "boy sober" in a video on Tiktok at the end of 2023, announcing that she would take a break from dating and sex for a year.
With over 16 million views on Tiktok, the concept has spread, and especially young heterosexual women are now encouraging each other to take temporary celibacy.
"A counter-reaction"
According to Selma Brodrej, culture journalist and author, voluntary celibacy is a way for followers to regain a sense of control over their love lives.
Those who promote this talk about being able to reject the idea of seeking male validation and getting more time for self-realization, she says, and means that the language used is similar to that used in the so-called "nofap" movement, which is about men, among other things, stopping masturbating.
At the same time, she means that unavailability can be a way to attract a new partner.
I can really see it as a way to meet a guy, but they would probably not like me saying that.
Celebrities in celibacy
It's not just on Tiktok that the celibacy trend is spreading. During the spring and summer, celebrities like Khloe Kardashian, Julia Fox, and Lenny Kravitz have reported that they are abstaining from sex.
In an interview with The Guardian, Kravitz says that he hasn't had a relationship in nine years and that he will continue to live in celibacy until he meets the "right woman".
Culture journalist Parisa Amiri sees several reasons why celebrities are coming out and talking about celibacy.
It's exciting that two women who have been highly sexualized and received a lot of media attention for their relationships with men are mentioned in this context, she says, and continues:
In some way, it's a desire to mark against being tied to men.
According to her, celebrities' statements about celibacy can be a kind of counter-reaction to a hyper-fixation on sex and sexuality – but also something that shows status.
It's the same thing as when Kim Kardashian flirts with only eating tomatoes to fit into a dress for the Met Gala. It's status to show that you can rise above ordinary bodily needs and renounce what ordinary people want and enjoy.
Julia Fox:
In May, the actress revealed in a video on Tiktok that she had been in celibacy for two and a half years, and meant that she was doing better than ever. At the beginning of July, she shared a video on the platform that many interpreted as her coming out as a lesbian.
Kate Hudson:
In an interview on the podcast "Call her daddy", the actress reveals that she went into temporary celibacy and took a break from dating for a year when she was in her 20s.
It was empowering, she says.
Craig David:
Artist Craig David has lived in celibacy for the past two years, he reveals in an interview with TMZ.
It's been very good for me, he says, and means that he can focus on his creativity and record music instead of dating.
From financiers to brat summer – the trends on Tiktok are replacing each other at a rapid pace. In our summer series, we write about some of the biggest buzzwords in the app, and unravel where they come from, what they mean, and how they have spread beyond Tiktok.
