The trend exploded on Tiktok shortly after influencer Jools Lebron introduced the slogan "very demure, very mindful" to 1.2 million followers, at the beginning of August.
In several videos, she explains the concept and describes how to be "demure" in different social and public contexts, for example by arriving on time, dressing up for work, and not drawing too much attention to oneself.
I don't look like a clown when I go to work. I don't do too much. See how presentable I am? she says in a video.
In a short time, the trend has taken hold, and everything from ordering a small cup of coffee to sitting elegantly on the subway is described as "demure".
Since the first "demure" videos, Lebron's follower count has increased, and in a video clip, she says that her Tiktok success has enabled her to pay for the rest of her gender confirmation process.
Playing with femininity
In its correct meaning, "demure" means approximately decent or modest, and is primarily used to describe a reserved woman. Entertainment columnist Fanny Svärd calls the trend a play on femininity and gender roles, and means that it drives with femininity ideals.
The very contrast in all this is that the creator is a racialized trans woman who perhaps wouldn't be described as modest. She takes on a role in these videos, and everyone else does too, she says.
But at the same time as one drives with it, there is a general desire to be respectable and considerate.
The trend has been described as a reaction to the summer's big Tiktok trend "brat summer", but that's stretching it too far, according to Fanny Svärd.
I just think it's a fun joke that people want to use while it's hot. It's also a trend that's easy to apply to anything, anything can be "demure".
When the joke is over
The "demure" trend has also spread beyond Tiktok. In an Instagram post from Spotify News, it appears that searches for "demure" increased by 1,000 percent in the music service last week.
Spotify also sees a large increase in playlists where the word is included. Among the artists who appear there are Lana del Rey, Billie Eilish, and SZA.
Even celebrities like Lindsay Lohan, Lizzo, and President Joe Biden have jumped on the trend, something Fanny Svärd doesn't think is to their advantage.
Such trends are not meant to be forever, and when the adult world starts to get hold of the joke, it's over.
Hanna Lindmark/TT
Facts: How to be "demure" – according to Jools Lebron
TT
At the airport:
To be "demure" at the airport, one should not stress about getting in line and boarding the plane – and not drink alcohol.
I drink soda. I don't get drunk. I'm very "demure", says Lebron in a video.
At the hotel:
In another video, Lebron explains how to thank hotel staff for their stay – by buying muffins for them and cleaning their room.
I give them six muffins. I don't leave my room like a bomb site. Very "demure".
At work:
To be "demure" at work, Lebron says she wears natural makeup and dresses properly.
This isn't a fashion show. I don't wear revealing clothes, I'm very natural, she says.
