I always call or text my dad before coming over, even though we live just ten minutes apart. Does that sound strange to you? Admittedly, as I write it down, it does seem a bit odd to me too... However, for the average Swede, this is perfectly normal.
In Sweden we have an unwritten rule not to show up at someone’s home unannounced. This is quite different from many other parts of the world, where unexpected visits can be a sign of closeness and openness.
Most Swedes, including myself, value both planning and solitude. While a part of me would love the surprise of an impromptu visit from friends or family, the Swedish part of me finds the idea quite uncomfortable. The thought of not having time to clean and prepare for someone to come to my house is immensely stress-inducing.
I think the combination of our closed culture in Sweden together with the fact that our homes also happen to reflect our personal status, means unexpected invites can be very awkward for the host. Not to mention our need for planning and order means unexpected visits unfortunately do not fit into most of our schedules. So if you have shown up at a friend's house unannounced and wondered why they did not seem happy to see you, rest assured it was not about you, they were just being very Swedish.
